I talk with a lot of people, and I have noticed a trend in the past couple weeks that I want to address as the official start of the holiday season is approaching. The trend has been person after person describing what was initially fantastic and wonderful holiday plans spent with friends and family has now turned to this obligation of busy-ness that is causing stress. I am hearing so many forget the point or the intention behind their plans making it impossible to find enjoyment in the fun as the focus has switched to all the “have to” tasks. Does this sound familiar to you? Would you love to go back to looking forward to the holiday plans and not feeling dread of too much to do and no time to relax? The answer lies in how you are setting your intentions.
For starters, what do I mean when I say setting your intentions? I am meaning to consciously and deliberately choose a specific mindset or desired state of being, actively directing your thoughts and energy towards achieving a particular outcome or feeling, rather than passively letting things happen; it's about proactively shaping your actions and experiences by focusing on what you want to cultivate in your life. Putting this in a holiday lense and it is remembering all these plans are to enjoy others and celebrate the relationships in our life. You want to truly identify what matters and align your activities to follow this valued direction.
Here are some important points for setting your intentions:
Focus on the "how you want to feel" or the “who you want to be”:
Instead of just stating a goal or expectation, consider the emotions and qualities you want to embody when getting ready for events
Reflection and self-awareness:
Take time to understand your values and what truly matters to you before setting intentions. Why is this relationship important? What do you appreciate about these people or experiences?
Positive phrasing:
Formulate your intentions using positive language. What do you want to bring into your life? What do you want to bring to this event?
Visualization and/or meditation:
Utilize practices like visualization and meditation to deeply connect with your intentions and create a clear mental picture of what you desire. These are expectations for how you will choose to respond, these are not expectations for how others will act for you cannot control the behavior of others.
Here are a couple of examples with setting an intention statement:
"Today, I intend to be present and fully engaged in each conversation."
"I choose to radiate positivity and kindness throughout this event."
"My intention is to approach challenges with resilience and a growth mindset."
I can appreciate that there is stress involved with holiday plans. There is a lot we want to cram in with just a couple weeks to do it. It is important to remember that the bulk of the plans were things we wanted to do to enjoy the holidays with the people in our lives.
Here are a couple points to help you to set intentions:
Reflect on your values: Consider what is important to you in life and align your intentions with those values.
Choose a specific intention: Pick one clear and focused intention for a particular situation or day.
Write it down: Journaling your intention can help solidify it in your mind.
Regularly revisit: Check in with your intentions throughout the day and make adjustments as needed.
So, there you have it, some ideas for how to get mentally prepared for all the holiday festivities. Remembering to have gratitude and awareness for the positives that are meant for this time of year and remembering that we cannot control how other people respond – setting your intentions helps you respond with behaviors that are aligned with your values and to keep in mind your purpose of the season.
I feel it is important to also take a moment to acknowledge those who have the opposite problem. For some of us it seems everyone is busy with plans, and you may not have as many opportunities. Setting intentions is still helpful. Doing volunteer work that is aligned with your values can help you feel involved and will allow for you to gather with others that share the same values – and the great news is there are a lot of volunteer opportunities this time of year and maybe you can find one that will last throughout the year if you desire.
In all, I hope you can connect with your why for any and all holiday get togethers. Making the mental shift from another thing you have to get through to remembering why these people are important to you and the behaviors you want to have to be the person you want to be for these important people.
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